A Simpler Holiday Season

It's Christmas Time again!! I love Christmas and my tendency is to do as much as I possibly can. Which stresses me out and my family and my kids. SO for this holiday season, we will keep it simple.

The first step happened last year: I purged our holiday decorations and kept only the things that brought joy to my family. I admit I kept some decorations that only brought joy to my kids also.

The second step is asking my kids "What Christmas activities are a must for you? What do you enjoy the most?" The usual list looks like this:

1. Decorate the Christmas tree
2. Make Christmas cookies
3. Visit our favorite museum for their Christmas celebration
4. See Santa
5. Watch Christmas movies
6. Drink hot chocolate


My daughter and son differ on one activity. Driving through a Christmas lights display. My daughter LOVES it. My son could take it or leave it. My husband and son agree on this one. And this activity is now a Mommy-Daughter date :)

The third step is to add lots of FREETIME to our holiday calendar. We refuse to travel over the Christmas holidays. Family is always welcome to come and visit us. But we stay home. We snuggle up, drink our hot chocolate, and dad makes a warm, crackling fire in our living room. This is our happiest time during Christmas. Just being together.

Yes, of course, we do gifts and Santa. But, our focus in on family time, being together, and experiencing the magic of the holiday season. We won't rush. We will breathe it all in. We will savor the month. We will laugh and talk. We will hug and cuddle. We will sing and dance (ok, my daughter may do most of the dancing). Most of all, we will love. We love on each other. We will give love  to others. We will love this season.

Merry Christmas! From our family to yours, we hope you have a magical holiday season!

Update on Challenge

I have to admit that I have struggled with this challenge. I did well for a few days and then fell off the wagon. It is a seductive pull. That screen. It calls you.

Things that I began doing again:
1. carrying the phone around the house with me
2. texting some
3. googling a little


However, my biggest "fail" was in substituting! ahhhhhh!  I put the phone away and I had all this "free" time. So how do I fill it up? I grab my laptop and begin digging my way through 3+ years of family photos to compile a folder that I can then use to create a digital photo album to print from a site such as Shutterfly.

So I have spent the better of the last 6 or so days doing that. My daughter just traded her "you're always on your phone" complaint for "you're always looking at photos" complaint. UGH

Now I have completed my task. I compiled a folder of 418 photos, 412 photos uploaded to Shutterfly, and successfully created a 75 page family photo album of the last 3+ years!!!!  I am equal parts elated and embarrassed about this.

Elated that I found the time (finally) to make a family photo album, as I was so, so, so far behind. And honestly, I want my children to have those photo albums to remember our family trips, events, and daily silliness later in their lives. Yes, we have digitally saved ALL photos EVER taken of our family. Unfortunately, they were in no certain order and several (SEVERAL) different folders and very mixed up to look at in that format. Now, they will have a chronological order of the past 3 years of family life and not spend hours trying to figure out their parents' scattered way of saving photos. LOL

I am embarrassed that I traded one screen for another. To me, that is a big fail.

What's done is done at this point. So, to move on......

I will begin again and revisit my thoughts on this challenge. While I feel I have made great strides in curbing my phone usage (and I have evidence by looking at app usage under the battery function!!!), it will be a continuous work in progress.

My family is highly into screens. We have TVs, tablets, Ipads, handheld video games, as well as video game systems (more than 1....more than 3). My kids spend a lot of time watching cartoons, YouTube, and playing video games.

This challenge is for me. But also for them. I want to show them that life can be lived without devices and that it can be fun and rewarding and adventurous even. I need to set the example. I need to BE the change that I want to see. This is my challenge. I will succeed.

Unique Gratitude Challenge

I have been thinking and trying and failing at being present in my life. Being present for my children. Being present for the day to day beauty of experiences. Why?

Number #1 reason:  My IPhone

I have become addicted to this device. This wonderful device that maps my routes for me. This wonderful device that keeps me in touch with great friends and family. This wonderful device with apps to keep up with my kids' school projects. This wonderful device that can "google" any information that I want to know. This wonderful device that can play any song at the drop of a hat.

It really is wonderful technology. But it is also like a vacuum. It sucks me in and I can't seem to get out. It consumes my time and I miss out on life that is happening right in front of me. It creates anxiety when I don't know where I left my phone. But let's be honest. That rarely happens. Because my phone is always with me. Always in my hand. Always next to my body. Always in my bag. Always in my car. Always next to my bed when I sleep at night. And always, always ON.

And that is what happens to me. I am - then - always ON. Always connected. Always picking it up out of habit. Always checking. Always searching (or googling). Always texting. Always doing something, anything with that phone.

I remember when I was given my very first cellphone. I was in college. I was working for a nice faculty member who had a flip phone. I was about to begin travel for an internship. The travel would entail driving through a very rural part of our area. My boss asked if I had a cellphone. I laughed and said of course not. I had no need of a cellphone. He implored me to get one, if only for that drive. Just in case, he said. He pressed so much and finally, he took me to the cellphone store and gave me his flip phone, set up my own phone plan, and bought himself a new cellphone (he'd been wanting a new phone anyway, he said).

So what did I do with that new phone? Nothing. I may have used it ONCE while in college, if at all. It was just for emergencies. And there was never any emergency. When I moved to the big city after college, I gave my mother that cellphone and got a new one in the new city. I gave my mother her very first cell phone! She had never had one. And she used it exactly once - for an emergency - when her land line went out. ONCE.

In fact, other than texting and calling, I never used my cellphone for anything else UNTIL I got my first IPhone. And since then, I have used it more and more and more and more. Now, I'm never without it. It is always with me.

With November and the Thanksgiving holidays upon us, I want to challenge myself. To show gratitude. For life. For my kids. For my friends. For my family. For nature. How?

This my challenge: To limit my cellphone usage when others are present.

Rules:
1. When my kids are home in the morning and after school and until they go to bed, I will refrain from all googling, streaming, app using, etc.
2. I will keep my phone in a central location and refrain from carrying it around with me inside the house.
3. When in the car, the phone will stay enclosed in my bag. I will not text or touch my phone when driving. I can answer calls in my car using bluetooth technology if it is a good time to talk. (hands-free)
4. I will focus my attention on my kids and my family and my friends and be present in my life.

Exceptions:
1. I will answer my phone for calls and texts (when it is convenient - ie not dinnertime, homework time, or dedicated family time). When the call or text is over, the phone goes back to that central location.
2. When in transit to a new or unfamiliar location, I will use GPS on my phone to help with directions.
3. I will continue to take my phone with me whenever I leave the house. I want to be accessible for my children when they are at school, my husband, and other family and friends.

This is indeed a unique challenge to promote gratitude and presentness in my life. It may not seem necessary to some people. Maybe you are not as addicted to your phone as I am. Or maybe you just haven't realized your own addiction yet.

For me, this will be a difficult challenge. But one that I hope I am able to accomplish. To be present is a gift.  A gift that I would like to give others in my life. And a gift that I would like to give myself.

Disaster Plans

So I've been reading a lot about all the natural disasters that have been occurring in the world recently. Hurricanes, earthquakes, and flooding all decimated islands and coastal states. Forest fires have forced people from their homes and vast acres of land and communities have been destroyed. People have had to make decisions about what to take when they left their homes. Others may not have evacuated but are now faced with the devastation of their homes and belongings severely damaged.

I began thinking of what I would do if I were faced with these possibilities for me, for my family. What would I grab if I needed to pack up in the middle of the night? What would I take? What would the kids want?

As a minimalist at heart, I sometimes wish I could start over, make more intentional decisions about the "stuff" we own and buy and bring into our home. I even wish we could go back and purchase a smaller home with less space to fill, less rooms to clean, less maintenance. But I would NEVER wish for a disaster to happen. The trauma and loss and upheaval that others are currently facing is life changing and so very difficult. I can't imagine how they must be feeling. I pray for comfort, peace, and endurance during these times.

What would I take? I think my list is small. My people are most important. But after them, I would only take some clothes (thanks to Project 333 I downsized my closet a couple years ago), my phone, my laptop, and my mother and father's wedding rings.

I would also need to take papers - birth certificates, wedding certificate, passports, IDs, etc. Part of me cringed at this thought because these items are not in safe place. A house fire could easily take these items. We have no fireproof safe or off site security box. This is something I should probably take care of.

We also don't have emergency bags packed and ready to go. I admit I am no prepper. We don't have emergency supplies in our car or our home in case we are stranded in either for any length of time. I struggle with the idea of putting together either because when no emergency comes, food and supplies just expire without being used. This is something I probably should give more thought to also.

Part of being a minimalist, I don't want to buy extra things that I may never need. Minimalism says
"don't hold onto to stuff 'just in case' - especially if you live somewhere that you can readily replaced said items quickly and inexpensively." So emergency planning vs. minimalism. I'm not sure which is best in light of recent events in our world. More thought on this is needed also.

Should....

I should.... He should... They should... Everyone should...

The shoulds in life keep me in angst. I think everyone should be like me. People should care about other people. People should clean up behind themselves. People should take care of themselves. People should eat healthy. People should exercise. People should get enough rest. People should go to the doctor when they are sick. People should follow the rules. People should listen to their parents. People should be nice to their siblings. People should do their homework. People should understand me.

I could go on. And on. And on. The problem with should is that I can't control anyone else. I can only control myself. And let's be real...even that comes with difficulty.

So the only option for my sanity is to LET GO. I need to let go of  the "shoulds". I must let go of the "shoulds". I must allow others to be who they are, where they are - right now in their lives. Others including my children, my family, my friends, my neighbors, etc. I am not in control of their lives. I am only in charge of my own.

So when that daughter of mine refuses to follow the rules, I must remind her of the expectation and lay out the consequence. Then step back and allow her to choose for herself. Choose how she will live out her life. And then ACCEPT it. Let go of how I think she "should" behave or respond. Let go Mom.

When that friend of mine complains for the hundredth time about feeling stressed out, I can remind them of how regular exercise can relieve some of that. Then I have to allow that friend to make their own choice. And ACCEPT it. Let go of how I think he should exercise more for his health.

This all sounds simple. And it is. Simple. But it is not easy. Letting go of long held beliefs and expectations about life and how you think it Should go is anything but easy. In my life, it feels almost impossible. As always, I am a work in progress.

So for now, I will strive to let go.

Let go of trying to control others' lives and focus on my own.
Let go of my expectations of how others should be and accept them the way they are.
Let go of the frustration when others don't act as I believe they should and feel the peace that comes from allowing others to be who they are.

Stop holding on. Let go. Release the shoulds. And make room for the relief and peace that comes from living your life without trying to control everyone else's life.

School Breaks

We are in the middle of our first school break. Crazy right?! School just started back from summer break. But whatever.

In the name of minimalism and slow, intentional living, I have really focused this week on making memories with my kids and letting other things go.

Memory makings include a trip to the movies, playdates with the BFF, apple picking, fair fun, and a big family trip at the end of the week for an exciting adventure! The kids are having a blast! And these are days they will remember forever (or at least for the next year LOL).

Letting go of things is hard for this mama. She likes a neat, tidy house. She likes her to-do lists and checking things off. She likes a little quiet during the day. None of this is happening this week.

So what am I letting go this week? Here are the top 3.

1. A clean house and house chores: I have been cleaning up in the kitchen each day but other than that, I have let the rest of the house go. If you were in my house right now, there is clear evidence of this. The basement and the playroom are complete disasters. You can't even walk in either of them without stepping on toys. But the kids are home for the week and having fun. I don't care.

2. My to-do list: I usually have a long list of things I wish to accomplish in a week. I love checking things off and feeling accomplished. This week my to-do list is short and focuses mainly on what is a necessity. Groceries, laundry, fun activities for the kids. I scheduled no special appointments on this week on purpose. In fact, today is a FREE DAY. We are staying home to rest from our fun activities and trips this week and just hanging out at home. The kids love this idea and are burying their heads in tablets and video games. (which is just another thing I'm letting go this week)

3. What my child is eating this week: I'm not very strict in general on my kids' diets. But I do make sure they eat (or they are offered) plenty of fruits, veggies, and lean proteins. My focus is usually on a healthy dinner. And we don't eat desserts and sweets everyday. This week, however, I have let go of this. I allowed my 7 year old to buy a JAR of candy sticks at the apple farm with her own money. We ate funnel cake at the fair. And yesterday, they had ice cream and fresh apple turnovers that I baked from our apple picking trip. They are eating more snacks than they usually do. And I even let go of my own healthy diet a little this week. So there. Warm apple turnovers, fresh from the oven, are delicious!

Going into this week of school break, I set my intentions to do fun activities and trips with the kids. I wanted my focus to be on using this time wisely to make memories with them, to hear them laugh, see them grin from ear to ear, and watch them play. The house can wait, the chores will get done later, and there will be time to accomplish the to-do list when the kids are back in school. For now, I will savor the break and the opportunity to have fun with my kids while they are still young and want to be with their mommy. Awwwww

Give One Every Day

We have been doing an experiment in my house recently. And it has been wonderful! I wanted to share with you guys so that you can feel the positive effect in your house like I have in mine.

We love love love Trolls in this house (kids ages 7 & 9)! So we have decided that once in the morning and once before bed at night, we will have HUG TIME! We give hugs for 10 seconds (my kids count "1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi") each. The kids love this and I love it too.

It is not the only time we hug, of course, but it is a pre-determined time. If I forget, the kids remind me. "It's HUG TIME, Mom!" They smile. I smile. My heart feels the joy and love.

Our house is so much more joyful and loving and less stressful when it is HUG TIME. It  doesn't matter if we were just upset or mad or frustrated or feeling down. When it is HUG TIME, there are smiles all around and giggles and open arms.

In particular, I think this has helped me with the 9 year old child. He is growing up. Pulling away. Working toward independence. But while he's doing this, he feels sad and he misses me and he still needs me.

HUG TIME gives him the opportunity to still snuggle me like a little kid. Still hug me and hold on for a long 10 seconds without pulling away. He loves it and so do I. And I do believe it has helped relieve some pre-teen/tween tension between us.

So if you have kids (or even if you don't - you can try this on your spouse, partner, or other family),  try this at home! HUG TIME! A great addition to every day living. Free, simple, fun, and boosts your mood in less than 10 seconds. Guaranteed.

I miss Mayberry

Remember that old TV show with Andy Griffith? Ok. Just me then. LOL
Mayberry was this very small town - where everyone knew everyone, people sat on porches, families sat down to dinner together every night, and no one hurried anywhere.

We are struggling as a society now to find more time and more space in our days and our lives. Technology keeps us connected and "on" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We work longer hours, drive longer commutes, and take fewer vacations than we ever have before. When someone asks how we are doing, we respond with "busy" like a badge of honor. When we have a moment to sit down and take a break, we feel guilty for not keeping up with our to do list.

This week I had the opportunity to have a little "Mayberry" in my house. School was cancelled for my kids and because it was weather-related, my children chose to hang out with me all day in our basement.

Now I can be a slave to my to do list. And I always have a list. On my to do list for this week included cleaning the house, doing the laundry, etc. A cancelled school day made for the perfect day to get things done on that list.

Instead the draw of a slow day and spending some lazy time with my children pulled me in.

SLOW

Recently I have been striving for slow. Making more time. Making more space. Breathing more deeply. Being less busy. These are things we all need. These are things we all want. And here was my chance.

So..... I took it! I spent the day curled up on a couch, playing video games, watching dinosaur movies, and snuggling with my kids. We ate lunch together. We hung out. We spent the whole day in the SAME room. And it was wonderful.

It was slow. It was lazy. It was relaxing. It was "Mayberry."  We had all the time in the world. No hurry. No busy. No to do lists. No rush. Just time, space, room to breathe.

Everyday can't be a cancelled school day. I know that. But I will strive toward slow. I will look for a little Mayberry each day and welcome it. Will you?

The Best Things in Life Aren't Things At All

Sometimes people view minimalism as just decluttering or getting rid of "stuff" or things. I believe minimizing your stuff is only a small part of what minimalism is as a whole. You should minimize your stuff, but only as a way to have more time and energy to focus on what's important in your life.

In my life, what's important isn't the "stuff". The best things in life aren't things at all. The best part of my life is my people. That's what I want to focus on. That's what important to me.

We have a saying in my house. Love God and love people. This is our focus. I teach my kids that their family, their friends, their teachers, their classmates, and the people around them are more important than any toy, video game, or "thing" in their life. This is a hard lesson for them to learn at times. They are still so young and self-focused.

But let's be honest. This is a hard lesson for everyone to learn. I'm still learning it myself. I need reminders at times.

I need a reminder when I'm washing the dishes and trying to clean up the kitchen and my daughter wants to tell me all about her stuffies and what adventure they just went on.

I need a reminder when I'm sitting and reading a book and my son asks for my help in figuring out his video game.

I need a reminder when it's been a long day and I just want to go to bed and my husband wants to chat about his day.

The dishes aren't important. Neither is that clean kitchen.
That book isn't important.
Even sleep isn't as important as the person in my life who needs to talk.

Everyday I work toward this lofty goal of people over things. A friend calls while I'm out on a run. She needs a friend's ear to vent and discuss worries about things happening in her life. I miss out on my run but connect with my friend. I'm reading an article and my son asks for my help. I stop reading and help him. I can always read that article later. I'm hoping to sleep in on a Saturday morning but gladly welcome early morning snuggles from my growing 9 year old. He won't soon want to snuggle with his mama like this.

Once I was teaching the kids about safety and what to do if the house were to have a fire. My daughter was very upset that this could happen and asked me what if the whole house burned down with all of our things, how would we live?! I calmly looked at her and explained "We can replace the things and the house, but we can't replace you. And you are all that matters."

Remember the best things in life really aren't things at all. Who are the best "things" in your life?

Favorite Blogs and a Magazine

I highly recommend all of the following blogs. They center around minimalism, simply living, family, motherhood, mindfulness, and living your life to the fullest. Pick one and have a good read.

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/

http://www.theminimalists.com/

https://nosidebar.com/

http://www.handsfreemama.com/blog/

https://bemorewithless.com/

http://zenhabits.net/

http://liveyourlegend.net/blog/

https://simplifymagazine.com/

Are you Resting?

We are so busy these days as a society that it seems we never slow down. We have cities that never sleep, cable TV that is always on, and a to do list that never ends. I have small children and I can tell you from experience that there is always something that needs to be done. Always.

I get enough sleep at night. I go to bed around 9:30pm and get up on school days at 6am. On weekends, I stay in bed until 8am!! Sleep is not an issue for me. But sometimes I still feel like I'm constantly on "go" and never get a "break." Why is that?

Lack of rest. Not sleep. REST. People were designed to have times of rest. And most people used to take a whole day of rest. A WHOLE DAY. OF REST. Can you imagine?!

I keep working at taking my rest day. I love Sundays for this reason. Sundays I go to church, spend time with my family, and rest. Sometimes. I try. Really I do. But I need a refresh on this concept. Which means this blog is to remind myself. Take a break. Rest. You don't have to be "doing" all the time.

So what if the house is messy? So what if rug needs a good vacuuming? So what if you have errands that you could run? They can wait. Life doesn't wait. Rest. Live. Be.

One of the biggest things that I have done to cement Sundays as my rest day is to avoid scheduling ANY appointments on this day. Church is the only standing appointment and for me, it is very restful most Sundays (I work with children once a month at church; so that may not always be restful. LOL) I do not schedule any errands. I do not make lunch or dinner plans with anyone. As a family, we stay home, veg out, and do a whole lot of nothing.

The harder part for me is getting around the "I'm at home so I should take care of that house chore." I will admit that most of the time, I end up doing the chore. But then the day ends up feeling less restful and more like busywork. I need a mind-shift when it comes to this. Rest is rest. Chores are not.

So what would my ideal rest day look like? First, I could sleep in and get snuggles from my littlest. (that actually happens most Sundays!) Second, I could sit in my kitchen, drink coffee, and look out the window. Waking up slowly to this new day. Third, we would go to church and come home and have lunch. The rest of the day could be filled with reading, lounging, or movie watching with the kiddos. Early bedtimes all around for a good Monday start.

The benefits of a good rest day are wonderful. When you actually slow down, take a break, breath a little in your week, it does great things for your mind, your body, and your soul. It reduces stress, improves immunity, boosts creativity and mental energy, helps with focus, and improves your mood. It can actually help you be more productive on work days!

So here's my challenge for you (and me): Get out your calendar. Pick a day, any day of the week. Use a RED pen. Mark it out. That is your rest day. That is your "do nothing" day. And then, when you get to that day in the week, REST. Actually do NOTHING. Breathe. Stretch. Lounge. Veg. Rest. Be.

It will become your favorite day of the week. Trust me.

80/20 Your Life

In Tim Ferris's book 4 Hour Work Week, he describes a business principle - the 80/20 Rule. Pareto developed this concept, which basically states that 80% of effects come from 20% of causes. In the book, Ferris shows how this rule can be used in different areas to effect profits from business, but also minimize workload at the same time.

The cool thing is the rule or principle of 80/20 can be applied to ALL areas of life. I have been researching and thinking about this a lot recently for how I can apply it to my own life. Some areas I'm focusing on are: social/friends, house chores, self-care, hobbies/interests. 

Some of these areas were easier than others. And it was surprising which ones were easier for me. Somehow social activities and friends was easier for me than self-care. The basic idea is to focus your efforts and time and energy on the 20% that gives you the most or the 80% payoff.

Let's take household chores. The first thing I did was write all the usual chores down on a piece of paper. I am pretty OCD when it comes to cleaning my house. I wish it was clean 100% of the time. With young kids at home, this is very unrealistic. I still have to tell myself almost weekly (ok, daily) that it's okay if rooms are messy sometimes. This is real life. It's messy.

Once I had my list, I reviewed it to decide which chores, when accomplished, make the house feel "clean" and make me feel like I was keeping the house in order.

My 20% of household chores is as follows:

Kitchen
Trash/recycling
Living room
Foyer
Vacuuming floors downstairs

Out of 16 listed chores, only 5 made the cut. This small list gives me the most satisfaction and helps me to feel like I'm keeping the house in order. If the kitchen, living room, and foyer are picked up, the trash or recycling isn't overflowing, and the floors have been vacuumed recently, the house feels "clean".

This process has been been interesting and enlightening for me. If I can use this principle with chores, I believe it can be expanded to any area of life. But like I noted before, some areas are more difficult than others to 80/20. Which areas of your life would you use this rule on?

Let's Talk Trees

The more I have minimized my home, my stuff, and my schedule, the more I have longed to be out in nature. My whole childhood was spent outside. We played tag outside, we explored the woods, we grew vegetables in our garden, we rode bikes, and we had adventures. I want some of that back in my life. The awe, the wonder of nature.

There are many benefits to being out in nature. But these are the ones that I look forward to:

1. Lowered Stress

2. Increase in Physical Activity

3. Less Noise

4. Less Busy

5. Better Mood

When I am able to be outside with no agenda for an extended amount of time (at least 30 minutes), I notice that I feel less anxious, happier, and my day just goes better.


Recently I found a 30 day challenge to be in nature more. It's called "Rewild Your Life". It's a free online course through We are Wildness University. The purpose of the course to help you find ways to get into nature and then document the benefits or effects in your personal life after the 30 days is complete.

I just began and I'm on Day 2. Day 1 was amazing. I took a run by our local lakeside early in the morning. I saw ducks and geese and basked in the peacefulness of being lakeside alone. It actually made me want to get a canoe or boat just big enough for my family and I to get out on the lake. 

Day 2 challenge: Spend time in nature blindfolded. Basically, close your eyes and open your ears. Listen to nature. What do you hear? 

I'm excited to see where this adventure takes me. To me, there is nothing more minimal or simple than just being out in nature. 

Slow Family Life

Lately I have been wishing I could slow this life down. This life with my children who are growing ever so fast. My babies are now in 2nd and 4th grades! And my 4th grader is beginning that independence push away from Mama. I can feel it and see little bits here and there. Oh my heart!

So how can we slow down? With school back in session, it will be hard. Get up early, get them off to school for a full day, homework, chores, dinner, bath, bedtime. Then repeat. Weekends are less busy but that is when my kiddos want to binge watch their favorite movies and shows and my son wants to play hours of video games.

What's a mom to do? I could look around and change what THEY are doing. Or I could start with ME.

Let's be honest. I'm not perfect (smile). I have a long to do list and I'm constantly try to get it all done. I don't SLOW down much myself. So if I don't "slow", how can I expect anyone else in this house to "slow"? Be the change you want to see in the world. (Gandhi)

There are little changes I can makes and then the bigger ones. And the good news is I already know things I can do! The hard part is always walking the walk and making the changes.

One little thing I have already changed is their morning routine before school. Their bus comes way too early in my opinion and last year, we rushed and I pushed and propped and sometimes yelled just to get them to the bus stop on time. Whew! This year, I am driving them. This gives us an extra 30 minutes at home in the morning. We don't have to rush. They have plenty of time to eat breakfast. And the best part? I get to spend more time with them on the car drive to school! YAY!

Another little change for me would be stopping what I am doing when my children talk to me. Giving them my attention and taking that few minutes to connect with them. Most often, my 7 year old is trying to show me something or tell me something or ask me something. She is my chatty Cathy! When I am busy with a chore, I tend to answer quickly, sometimes not even looking her way. Stop Mama. Look at that baby. It won't take but a minute.

A really BIG change for me would be putting down the phone. I use my Iphone for EVERYTHING. And my kids know it. They know I can Google info for them on the fly. They know I can play them a song. They know Mama watches HER TV on her phone a lot. They know about Facebook (gasp!) and texting (which they think I do WAY too much).

I'm going to make a commitment to put down the phone. I'm not sure what this will look like but I'm going to do the following things:

1. Delete Facebook
2. Delete Netflix
3. Keep phone in central location when we are home together. (Remember the phone was secured to the wall and if you wanted to use it, you could only use it from that location??)

If I can do these 3 things, I may have a good chance of breaking this addiction of mine. And maybe in doing so, I can show my family what SLOW looks like. That would be the best reward.

World of Distraction

This morning I went for a long run. It was dark and stormy skies so I decided to run the loop at my local park just in case the rains came. There were several people walking and running this morning. Not crowded but busy. As I ran, I people watched. People watching is one of my favorite past times. It is always interesting to look at the people around you. I smile. I say good morning. Some respond in kind, but mostly people are in their own worlds.

We are so connected these days. Everyone has a cellphone. People look more at their phones than they do the people around them. Or even the people WITH them. Addictions to cellphones are commonplace now. Most people check their phones every few minutes, whether it rings or buzzes or not. Social media, Google, and other Apps have people constantly on their phone. I'm not sure if these people are looking for connection or entertainment, but one thing is certain, they are distracted.

I hear the birds singing as I run. I hear some children laughing on the playground. I hear the park staff mowing a field of grass. I hear my feet hitting the pavement. And I watch.

I see the people walking and talking to someone on their phone. I pass them again and again, but they never finish their conversation. Always on their phone. 

I see the people running with ear buds in for music (I can still hear their music because it's so loud). They are lost in their thoughts.

I see one woman who is listening to an audio book. I'm not sure if she is wearing ear buds because I can hear parts of her book each time I pass her. 

I see a man with ear buds listening to music. I think opera of some sort. Definitely not English in language. And he is singing. Loudly. This makes me chuckle.

Distractions. Phones, Ipods, ear buds, etc. Blocking out the world around us. Phone calls, facebook, text messages, music, podcasts. We can't just take a walk anymore. We don't run in nature anymore. Is it the silence? Is it the birds singing? Is it our own thoughts? What are we trying to distract ourselves from?

I am as guilty of this as any one of these people. I listen to music and podcasts when I run sometimes. I reach for my phone during a lull. I pick up my phone sometimes to check it for no reason. I google. I facebook. (When did "facebook" become a verb???)

But some days, I long for the days before cellphones. (Yes, I was younger so that may be part of it. LOL) But I remember a time when I could be alone with my thoughts, with the quiet, with the birds singing - not reaching for a phone - a device - to keep me company. Because I WAS ENOUGH.

Back to School

Back to School is coming! Time for backpacks, lunchboxes, routines, and getting those kids up early and ready for the school day!

Over the last few years I have worked hard to make the mornings as easy as possible for myself and the kids. Here are some great tips I have picked up along the way:

1. Prepare the night before (or week before):

- My kids have this in their closets:

Every Sunday, they pick out clothes for each day of the week (Mon-Fri). This makes getting dressed on school mornings so much easier.

- All my kids shoes are downstairs in a basket by the front door/stairs. Easy access right before we walk out the door.

- We have a small shelf with hooks right next to our door that leads to the garage. Backpacks are hung here everyday after they return home from school. 

- Lunches are prepared the night before for easy grab out the fridge in the mornings.

- I bought several individually wrapped snacks and put them in a gallon bucket we recycled from the farmers market. Currently, the bucket holds granola bars, cheese/pb crackers, cheese and pretzels, and mini ritz cheese crackers. I keep this hidden on a high shelf in the cabinet so the snacks don't get eaten any other time. Pull it out on school mornings and the kids grab one for their backpack before we leave the house.

2. I wake the kids an hour before we need to leave for school. This might seem like an excessive amount of time. Hey they could get more sleep right?! But I have found that this gives us plenty of "margin" and we don't to have to rush rush rush!

3. Bedtimes are set early so that they get at minimum 10 hours of sleep on school nights. So if we need to be up by 6am, the oldest (age 9) is in bed by 8pm. 

4. TV stays OFF until everyone is completely ready for school. ONLY then if we have extra time, can they turn on the TV for cartoons or something. NO electronics until you are ready to walk out the door for school (for my son who has a DS).

5. Keep breakfast simple. We do frozen waffles or french toast sticks, cereal, biscuits (premade the night before), and boiled eggs. We always have fruit - bananas, apples, etc. We save big breakfasts like homemade pancakes, eggs, bacon, etc. for the weekends.

6. The kids have a checklist (pictures) of their morning to do's posted on the wall in their rooms. This is a good reminder of what needs to happen every morning. It goes like this:

Good Morning!

Potty

Clothes

Brush Hair

Brush Teeth

Breakfast

Backpack

Bonus!! EXTRA TIPS FOR THE AFTERNOONS:

1. After returning from school, backpacks are hung up immediately. Mom looks through for any important papers.

2. Kids have snack. But NO electronics.

3. Homework is started at table in kitchen.

4. Chores are done following homework. All chores take only 5-10 minutes to complete.

5. Then kids have FREE time to play until dinnertime.

6. My kids work better with a good routine. So during schooltime, we go to bed at the same time each night, get up at the same time each morning, follow the same morning routine (see checklist above) each day, and the same afternoon routine (hang backpacks up, snack, homework, chore, play, dinner, bath, play/family time, and bedtime).

Keeping Your Diet Simple

I am a minimalist at heart and that touches every part of my life. Recently, I have been looking at my foods, my meals, and my groceries in a different light and trying to determine how to make this whole area more simple than it has ever been.

I have put in place several ideas to make foods more simple:
1. Meal planning
2. Eating more whole foods
3. Only cooking recipes with few ingredients
4. Shopping from a specific list (broken down by my specific grocery aisles!)

Other ideas I have tried:
1. Diets such as Whole30, Beachbody, Paleo, NSNG, etc.
2. Eliminating processed foods
3. Eliminating dairy

We all want to eat healthy, easy, fast, and probably cheap. The problem with this is the easy, fast, cheap foods are not always healthy. And the healthy foods are not usually easy or fast or cheap.

Finally, I have stumbled upon an idea that I feel may work for me. It is disguised as "meal prepping" but I think it is easier than that and "more". I tried it for the first time this week and it was amazing! It provided the following benefits for me:

a) I always ate healthy for breakfasts and lunches (these are the meals I used this idea for)
b) once "prepped", the meals were quickly ready to eat
c) I always felt prepared this week when thinking of what I would eat!

Minimalist Diet

Meal prep on Sunday or Monday for the whole week.
I meal prepped Breakfast and Lunch for each day.
Eat the SAME meal for breakfast. And the SAME meal for lunch.
Next week, REPEAT.

So what did I eat for breakfast this week? What did I eat for lunch? Was I completely bored?

My breakfast was 2 hardboiled eggs (prepped a dozen), nuts (raw cashews, almonds, or pistachios) - 2 handfuls, and a side of fruit (watermelon, berries, or apple).

My lunch was shredded chicken (3/4 cup), salad greens, raw spinach leaves, chopped tomato, sliced cucumber, blueberries, and Green Goddess dressing. The chicken was shredded from a precooked rotisserie chicken from the grocer (so easy and affordable!) and provided 5 servings - plenty for all lunches. The salad was prepped in individual containers. Dressing added during actual consumption. I love Tessemae dressings. No sugar and made out of whole ingredients.

Soooo...was I bored? NOPE. In fact, I felt less stress and happy knowing my meals were ready to go whenever I got hungry and there was no worry over what to eat and how long it would take to prepare it.

Another benefit was the portability of the lunches! One day the kids and I had lunch at the pool and I just grabbed my salad and poured dressing into a small TBS container and DONE. Took a fork and my water bottle and ate my salad poolside. It was great!

I will be continuing this minimalist diet, varying the meals for different weeks, but always prepping the same 5 breakfasts and the same 5 lunches during a week. Healthy eating has never been so simple!

Minimalist Birthday

My kids' birthdays are very close together so every year we do a joint party. This year, they are 7 & 9 years old. And NO, they don't want separate parties yet. Can you believe that?!

I have been working to minimize every area of my life. So to that end, I go in search of the Minimalist Birthday Party. This year's party was so super easy! Although it was Not inexpensive. Sometimes you have to choose your minimalism.

My kids LOVE having their party at some indoor play place and they had been begging to go to an indoor trampoline park. Considering their birthdays are in July, the 2nd hottest month in the South (the 1st goes to August here), and the weather is either boiling hot outside or thunderstorming, we ALWAYS have an indoor party.

So for venue, it would either be our house OR a play place type party. Yes, our house would be inexpensive. However, it would add stress to my life by inducing a mad house cleaning BEFORE and AFTER the party. I would also have to act as HOST. Which means less time watching my kids have a great time at their birthday party. So for us, it's a no-brainer. We will foot the bill for a play place type party.

Let me highlight the advantages of having a kids birthday party at a play place setting. Our experiences doing this type of party have always been great. But this particular place and year were more awesome than any other year/party before. Here's my number 1 reason why: THE PARTY HOST. Provided by the play place, we had our own "party host" who took care of basically everything! She took care of the table, the food for the kids, and she even had candles (I forgot them!) for the birthday cake.

So what did they provide vs. what did I bring? I brought: 1) the birthday cake 2) treat bags 3) my kids. They provided: 1) decorated table with balloons & birthday sign 2) cute paper plates, napkins, and cutlery 3) pizza + drinks for kids 4) candles for the cake  5) cake knife 6) the FUN! - trampoline park 7) MORE fun - arcade cards for each kid 8) birthday gifts for my kids - a free mechanical BULL ride (LOL) + a gift certificate for a free jumping next time  9) clean up (YES!)

The kids had a BLAST! And there was plenty of play time with friends! We barely got them to sit down long enough to eat pizza and cake. My son deemed it the "best birthday party yet"!

While what I provided already seemed very minimal and easy. It was even easier than that! The cake was homemade by my RIGHT NEXT DOOR neighbor! She made the cake and I walked 25 feet to her house and picked it up. As for treat bags, I hate giving kids a bag of small toys and trinkets only to get played with once and then become junk in someone's house. So this year, I gave a small (think snack size) bag of candy for the ride home. The birthday cake was rainbow and sunshine. So I did a "taste the rainbow" treat bag - Rolos for pot of gold, skittles separated to show rainbow colors, and mini marshmallows. So EASY and the kids loved them! (Even the parents did - I had a parent take a picture for Instagram!) Best thing was the parents had no junk to throw out later as these were long gone before they even made it home!

NOTE on minimalist gifts: While I would love to have more experiences for my kids than Stuff, they did still receive toys. This year, however, I noticed that more people gave them gift cards so they could choose their own toys. This is definitely a step in the right direction. At least they can have the experience of budgeting their birthday money to pick out a toy they will love and enjoy for a long time to come!

Are you Surviving or Living?

I have spent the last 2 days at home with my 8 year old son who was sick. While he lounged on the couch and I gave him medicine or made him something to eat occasionally, I cleaned and scrubbed the house, did laundry, and basically caught up on household chores. We survived. 

Are you just surviving daily life? Are you thinking each day "Man, I can't wait until this day is over!" or "Is it 5 o'clock yet?" Do you wake up each morning dreading the day ahead, already overwhelmed by your long to-do list and never ending emails? Are you "living for the weekend"?

Certainly, we all have our seasons of survival. I have had mine. I will never forget my youngest spending 2 months in the NICU after her early birth and having a 2 year old at home that needed me too. We survived. Even before that, I had seasons of survival. I survived while grieving the loss of my mother from cancer. I survived while spending an exhausting amount of hours working toward completing a Master's thesis. Yes, there will most assuredly be seasons of survival in all of our lives.

But seasons come to an end. They fade into the next season. Sometimes it takes weeks, months, even years. Then one day you look up, and life is a little easier. You can smile again. You begin to plan for things again. Look forward to things again. 

For some, however, they are in a constant state of survival. Getting up every morning in dread, rushing off to work, working all day, coming home, eating dinner, collapsing on the couch to watch Netflix  and going to bed - only to get up the next day and do it all over again. Maybe on the weekend, they get a reprieve and are able to relax, breathe, live a little. Maybe even then, they just sleep, eat, repeat. When did life become a series of days, weeks, months, or years of just surviving?

I look around and I notice those that are just surviving, and I notice those that are living. Those that are living may have similar daily struggles as those that are surviving but they make time for parts of life that often get pushed to the "back burner". Health, self-care, family time, reading, learning, nature, spirituality, community. Just to name a few. People that are living life make time to smile, laugh, relax, and do something fun. 

People who are surviving life will say "there's not enough time. I'm too tired to do..." There IS time. We all have the same amount. You get to decide what is a priority for you. You always have a choice. Put down the remote. Turn off the Netflix. Decide. Right now. What is important to you? What would "living" look like for you? And then GO AFTER IT.

Even if it's just for 10 minutes a day. Do it anyway. 10 minutes of self-care is better than 0 minutes. 10 minutes of taking a walk outdoors is better than never spending time in nature. 10 minutes of playing with your kids is better than just kissing them goodnight. 

You will never regret "living" life when you come to the end of yours. The opposite of life is not death. The opposite of life is "surviving". Stop surviving. Start living your life. You deserve it.