Disaster Plans

So I've been reading a lot about all the natural disasters that have been occurring in the world recently. Hurricanes, earthquakes, and flooding all decimated islands and coastal states. Forest fires have forced people from their homes and vast acres of land and communities have been destroyed. People have had to make decisions about what to take when they left their homes. Others may not have evacuated but are now faced with the devastation of their homes and belongings severely damaged.

I began thinking of what I would do if I were faced with these possibilities for me, for my family. What would I grab if I needed to pack up in the middle of the night? What would I take? What would the kids want?

As a minimalist at heart, I sometimes wish I could start over, make more intentional decisions about the "stuff" we own and buy and bring into our home. I even wish we could go back and purchase a smaller home with less space to fill, less rooms to clean, less maintenance. But I would NEVER wish for a disaster to happen. The trauma and loss and upheaval that others are currently facing is life changing and so very difficult. I can't imagine how they must be feeling. I pray for comfort, peace, and endurance during these times.

What would I take? I think my list is small. My people are most important. But after them, I would only take some clothes (thanks to Project 333 I downsized my closet a couple years ago), my phone, my laptop, and my mother and father's wedding rings.

I would also need to take papers - birth certificates, wedding certificate, passports, IDs, etc. Part of me cringed at this thought because these items are not in safe place. A house fire could easily take these items. We have no fireproof safe or off site security box. This is something I should probably take care of.

We also don't have emergency bags packed and ready to go. I admit I am no prepper. We don't have emergency supplies in our car or our home in case we are stranded in either for any length of time. I struggle with the idea of putting together either because when no emergency comes, food and supplies just expire without being used. This is something I probably should give more thought to also.

Part of being a minimalist, I don't want to buy extra things that I may never need. Minimalism says
"don't hold onto to stuff 'just in case' - especially if you live somewhere that you can readily replaced said items quickly and inexpensively." So emergency planning vs. minimalism. I'm not sure which is best in light of recent events in our world. More thought on this is needed also.

Should....

I should.... He should... They should... Everyone should...

The shoulds in life keep me in angst. I think everyone should be like me. People should care about other people. People should clean up behind themselves. People should take care of themselves. People should eat healthy. People should exercise. People should get enough rest. People should go to the doctor when they are sick. People should follow the rules. People should listen to their parents. People should be nice to their siblings. People should do their homework. People should understand me.

I could go on. And on. And on. The problem with should is that I can't control anyone else. I can only control myself. And let's be real...even that comes with difficulty.

So the only option for my sanity is to LET GO. I need to let go of  the "shoulds". I must let go of the "shoulds". I must allow others to be who they are, where they are - right now in their lives. Others including my children, my family, my friends, my neighbors, etc. I am not in control of their lives. I am only in charge of my own.

So when that daughter of mine refuses to follow the rules, I must remind her of the expectation and lay out the consequence. Then step back and allow her to choose for herself. Choose how she will live out her life. And then ACCEPT it. Let go of how I think she "should" behave or respond. Let go Mom.

When that friend of mine complains for the hundredth time about feeling stressed out, I can remind them of how regular exercise can relieve some of that. Then I have to allow that friend to make their own choice. And ACCEPT it. Let go of how I think he should exercise more for his health.

This all sounds simple. And it is. Simple. But it is not easy. Letting go of long held beliefs and expectations about life and how you think it Should go is anything but easy. In my life, it feels almost impossible. As always, I am a work in progress.

So for now, I will strive to let go.

Let go of trying to control others' lives and focus on my own.
Let go of my expectations of how others should be and accept them the way they are.
Let go of the frustration when others don't act as I believe they should and feel the peace that comes from allowing others to be who they are.

Stop holding on. Let go. Release the shoulds. And make room for the relief and peace that comes from living your life without trying to control everyone else's life.