Sometimes Simplicity lies in Acceptance

What are you struggling with in your life right now? Think about it for a few minutes. Sometimes our biggest challenges are just that because we fight against them. We want to change them. We want to control things. Sometimes things that are out of our control. Sometimes things that are better left unchanged. But we struggle because of our expectations.

In life, I have found that it is better to live without expectations. This is pretty difficult in itself. I have had plenty of expectations in my life. I expected to go to college, get a great job, live in a fantastic place, and have a great good of friends. 

But life doesn't always give you what you expect. And sometimes it gives you more. And while I believe you are in charge of your own destiny, there will always be things in life that you cannot control. So what do you do when your expectations don't match up with your reality?

The first thing people often do is try to change that. They try to make their expectations happen.

If things don't change and expectations don't match up, then most people complain about their life. How hard it is. How much they wish for this or that. How they want more.

I am striving for the last thing people often try in this situation. Acceptance of the failure to meet expectations. 

That may seem a little self-defeatist to you. However, I believe a simplicity lies in accepting where you are right now in your life. This is not "settling." But accepting. Accepting that life today is probably not what I expected but "it is what it is" and I want to find the simplicity and beauty and joy in it regardless. 

Bottom line: Don't miss out on the joy of your present life, hoping for expectations in your mind that may or may not ever come to fruition. Look around you, accept where you are right now, and notice the joy of your life!

Never Say Never

I have been known to say "I would NEVER do that!" quite frequently in my younger years. Sometimes getting older makes you wiser. Now I realize that when you say "I would never..." , then you probably will, at some point.

I could regale you with all the times I have used the statement "I would never" while discussing parenthood. And yes, that was before I was actually a parent. Those statements are numerous and I think I broke the record on all of them. But that's not the point of this post.

Never is one of the words that keep you in a box. You won't explore new avenues or new activities or new ways of thinking if you tell yourself that you "would never do that". And people say things like this to themselves and the people in their lives every day. I know I did.

"I will never be a runner." I said this FOR YEARS. Guess what? 6 years ago, I started running. I began running to lose weight after baby #2. But I've kept running because I fell in love with it. It's the easiest exercise for me. All I need are a good pair of running shoes. Lace them up and I can run my neighborhood, the local park, a nature trail, or even a 5k race. It's a stress relief, a quiet time, time to think, time to pray, time to clear my head, time with friends, time alone. It's awesome. And I said I would never be a runner.....ha!

"I will never be a vegetarian." This one still astounds me. A few years ago, I was searching for ways to be more healthy. Of course I watched several documentaries on healthy eating. Out of this search, I became a vegetarian for over a year. Yes, I eat meat now, but I am more careful in my selection (organic, grass-fed, free range, farm raised). I learned more that year about how many vegetables I really love. Now I believe that most of my plate should be vegetables and fruits.

"I will never be able to meditate." Ok. I'll be honest. I didn't get this meditation thing for a long long time. I thought it was all about chanting and having a blank mind, no thoughts. In the last year or so, I have tried meditation off and on. And I'm still not great at it. My mind does not have an easy time slowing down. The benefits of meditating (having that quiet time with just yourself) are evident when I take the time to do it.

"I will never be a writer." I have written essays for school and college. I have even written a thesis for my Master's degree. But those were required of me. I never thought I would write because I had something to say. I never thought I would write anything that would be of interest to anyone else. The latter may still be true...  But I have found an outlet in writing. Writing this blog makes me happy. Writing a book is challenging. But it gives such excitement. Just in the writing. It's becoming a passion of mine.

What are your "I would never's"? Even if you don't say them out loud to others in your life, you may say them quietly to yourself. Don't put yourself in a box. Don't limit your abilities with your thoughts. What could you create and accomplish if you didn't hold yourself back with your "never"?

Come on Spring!

Somehow we had spring over the kids' winter break holiday but winter has come back to haunt us. Ugh!  I am so ready for warmer temps for so many reasons.

I want to run outside without bundling up so much that it feels harder to actually run.

I want to hike more in nature with friends and with my kids.

I want to take the kids to the park and play.

I want to sit on my back deck without freezing.

I want to lay in the hammock and watch the clouds go by.

I want to watch my kids play in our backyard.

I want to take walks with my daughter and watch the birds.

I want grow something and watch it bloom.

I want to get more Vitamin D in my diet.

I want to wear flip flops and sun dresses.

Come on Spring!

Time In Nature Challenge

Winter is waning. Spring is coming. This is the time. The perfect time to get outside. Spend time in nature.

I love being in nature but sadly I don't do this enough. I allow life to get in the way. Chores, scheduled activities, obligations, and on and on. I tell myself things like "if I had more time" or "that would be lovely if I only I didn't have so much that needed to be done". But the truth is more simple. I must make the time for things that are important to me.

So I'm beginning a new challenge. Every day I will spend time in nature. No time limit. I only want to establish the routine of getting out there. Even if it is just 1 minute. That is better than NO minute. Right?

Getting out into nature can be as simple as going out in my backyard, going for a walk around the neighborhood, or going to a local park. Today I went hiking on a mountain trail with a friend. It was awesome. Quiet and peaceful. And honestly, I didn't want that time to end.

Nature is a soothing balm to my soul. It quiets my mind. It fills my lungs with healing breath. Most of all, it lifts my heart and I feel happier when I spend time in nature.

So, will take the challenge with me? Get out in nature everyday! Pay attention while you are there. Look around. Listen for birds and animals. Smell the flowers blooming. Feel the wind on your face. You will thank me, I promise.