Should....

I should.... He should... They should... Everyone should...

The shoulds in life keep me in angst. I think everyone should be like me. People should care about other people. People should clean up behind themselves. People should take care of themselves. People should eat healthy. People should exercise. People should get enough rest. People should go to the doctor when they are sick. People should follow the rules. People should listen to their parents. People should be nice to their siblings. People should do their homework. People should understand me.

I could go on. And on. And on. The problem with should is that I can't control anyone else. I can only control myself. And let's be real...even that comes with difficulty.

So the only option for my sanity is to LET GO. I need to let go of  the "shoulds". I must let go of the "shoulds". I must allow others to be who they are, where they are - right now in their lives. Others including my children, my family, my friends, my neighbors, etc. I am not in control of their lives. I am only in charge of my own.

So when that daughter of mine refuses to follow the rules, I must remind her of the expectation and lay out the consequence. Then step back and allow her to choose for herself. Choose how she will live out her life. And then ACCEPT it. Let go of how I think she "should" behave or respond. Let go Mom.

When that friend of mine complains for the hundredth time about feeling stressed out, I can remind them of how regular exercise can relieve some of that. Then I have to allow that friend to make their own choice. And ACCEPT it. Let go of how I think he should exercise more for his health.

This all sounds simple. And it is. Simple. But it is not easy. Letting go of long held beliefs and expectations about life and how you think it Should go is anything but easy. In my life, it feels almost impossible. As always, I am a work in progress.

So for now, I will strive to let go.

Let go of trying to control others' lives and focus on my own.
Let go of my expectations of how others should be and accept them the way they are.
Let go of the frustration when others don't act as I believe they should and feel the peace that comes from allowing others to be who they are.

Stop holding on. Let go. Release the shoulds. And make room for the relief and peace that comes from living your life without trying to control everyone else's life.