Are you Resting?

We are so busy these days as a society that it seems we never slow down. We have cities that never sleep, cable TV that is always on, and a to do list that never ends. I have small children and I can tell you from experience that there is always something that needs to be done. Always.

I get enough sleep at night. I go to bed around 9:30pm and get up on school days at 6am. On weekends, I stay in bed until 8am!! Sleep is not an issue for me. But sometimes I still feel like I'm constantly on "go" and never get a "break." Why is that?

Lack of rest. Not sleep. REST. People were designed to have times of rest. And most people used to take a whole day of rest. A WHOLE DAY. OF REST. Can you imagine?!

I keep working at taking my rest day. I love Sundays for this reason. Sundays I go to church, spend time with my family, and rest. Sometimes. I try. Really I do. But I need a refresh on this concept. Which means this blog is to remind myself. Take a break. Rest. You don't have to be "doing" all the time.

So what if the house is messy? So what if rug needs a good vacuuming? So what if you have errands that you could run? They can wait. Life doesn't wait. Rest. Live. Be.

One of the biggest things that I have done to cement Sundays as my rest day is to avoid scheduling ANY appointments on this day. Church is the only standing appointment and for me, it is very restful most Sundays (I work with children once a month at church; so that may not always be restful. LOL) I do not schedule any errands. I do not make lunch or dinner plans with anyone. As a family, we stay home, veg out, and do a whole lot of nothing.

The harder part for me is getting around the "I'm at home so I should take care of that house chore." I will admit that most of the time, I end up doing the chore. But then the day ends up feeling less restful and more like busywork. I need a mind-shift when it comes to this. Rest is rest. Chores are not.

So what would my ideal rest day look like? First, I could sleep in and get snuggles from my littlest. (that actually happens most Sundays!) Second, I could sit in my kitchen, drink coffee, and look out the window. Waking up slowly to this new day. Third, we would go to church and come home and have lunch. The rest of the day could be filled with reading, lounging, or movie watching with the kiddos. Early bedtimes all around for a good Monday start.

The benefits of a good rest day are wonderful. When you actually slow down, take a break, breath a little in your week, it does great things for your mind, your body, and your soul. It reduces stress, improves immunity, boosts creativity and mental energy, helps with focus, and improves your mood. It can actually help you be more productive on work days!

So here's my challenge for you (and me): Get out your calendar. Pick a day, any day of the week. Use a RED pen. Mark it out. That is your rest day. That is your "do nothing" day. And then, when you get to that day in the week, REST. Actually do NOTHING. Breathe. Stretch. Lounge. Veg. Rest. Be.

It will become your favorite day of the week. Trust me.

80/20 Your Life

In Tim Ferris's book 4 Hour Work Week, he describes a business principle - the 80/20 Rule. Pareto developed this concept, which basically states that 80% of effects come from 20% of causes. In the book, Ferris shows how this rule can be used in different areas to effect profits from business, but also minimize workload at the same time.

The cool thing is the rule or principle of 80/20 can be applied to ALL areas of life. I have been researching and thinking about this a lot recently for how I can apply it to my own life. Some areas I'm focusing on are: social/friends, house chores, self-care, hobbies/interests. 

Some of these areas were easier than others. And it was surprising which ones were easier for me. Somehow social activities and friends was easier for me than self-care. The basic idea is to focus your efforts and time and energy on the 20% that gives you the most or the 80% payoff.

Let's take household chores. The first thing I did was write all the usual chores down on a piece of paper. I am pretty OCD when it comes to cleaning my house. I wish it was clean 100% of the time. With young kids at home, this is very unrealistic. I still have to tell myself almost weekly (ok, daily) that it's okay if rooms are messy sometimes. This is real life. It's messy.

Once I had my list, I reviewed it to decide which chores, when accomplished, make the house feel "clean" and make me feel like I was keeping the house in order.

My 20% of household chores is as follows:

Kitchen
Trash/recycling
Living room
Foyer
Vacuuming floors downstairs

Out of 16 listed chores, only 5 made the cut. This small list gives me the most satisfaction and helps me to feel like I'm keeping the house in order. If the kitchen, living room, and foyer are picked up, the trash or recycling isn't overflowing, and the floors have been vacuumed recently, the house feels "clean".

This process has been been interesting and enlightening for me. If I can use this principle with chores, I believe it can be expanded to any area of life. But like I noted before, some areas are more difficult than others to 80/20. Which areas of your life would you use this rule on?

Let's Talk Trees

The more I have minimized my home, my stuff, and my schedule, the more I have longed to be out in nature. My whole childhood was spent outside. We played tag outside, we explored the woods, we grew vegetables in our garden, we rode bikes, and we had adventures. I want some of that back in my life. The awe, the wonder of nature.

There are many benefits to being out in nature. But these are the ones that I look forward to:

1. Lowered Stress

2. Increase in Physical Activity

3. Less Noise

4. Less Busy

5. Better Mood

When I am able to be outside with no agenda for an extended amount of time (at least 30 minutes), I notice that I feel less anxious, happier, and my day just goes better.


Recently I found a 30 day challenge to be in nature more. It's called "Rewild Your Life". It's a free online course through We are Wildness University. The purpose of the course to help you find ways to get into nature and then document the benefits or effects in your personal life after the 30 days is complete.

I just began and I'm on Day 2. Day 1 was amazing. I took a run by our local lakeside early in the morning. I saw ducks and geese and basked in the peacefulness of being lakeside alone. It actually made me want to get a canoe or boat just big enough for my family and I to get out on the lake. 

Day 2 challenge: Spend time in nature blindfolded. Basically, close your eyes and open your ears. Listen to nature. What do you hear? 

I'm excited to see where this adventure takes me. To me, there is nothing more minimal or simple than just being out in nature. 

Slow Family Life

Lately I have been wishing I could slow this life down. This life with my children who are growing ever so fast. My babies are now in 2nd and 4th grades! And my 4th grader is beginning that independence push away from Mama. I can feel it and see little bits here and there. Oh my heart!

So how can we slow down? With school back in session, it will be hard. Get up early, get them off to school for a full day, homework, chores, dinner, bath, bedtime. Then repeat. Weekends are less busy but that is when my kiddos want to binge watch their favorite movies and shows and my son wants to play hours of video games.

What's a mom to do? I could look around and change what THEY are doing. Or I could start with ME.

Let's be honest. I'm not perfect (smile). I have a long to do list and I'm constantly try to get it all done. I don't SLOW down much myself. So if I don't "slow", how can I expect anyone else in this house to "slow"? Be the change you want to see in the world. (Gandhi)

There are little changes I can makes and then the bigger ones. And the good news is I already know things I can do! The hard part is always walking the walk and making the changes.

One little thing I have already changed is their morning routine before school. Their bus comes way too early in my opinion and last year, we rushed and I pushed and propped and sometimes yelled just to get them to the bus stop on time. Whew! This year, I am driving them. This gives us an extra 30 minutes at home in the morning. We don't have to rush. They have plenty of time to eat breakfast. And the best part? I get to spend more time with them on the car drive to school! YAY!

Another little change for me would be stopping what I am doing when my children talk to me. Giving them my attention and taking that few minutes to connect with them. Most often, my 7 year old is trying to show me something or tell me something or ask me something. She is my chatty Cathy! When I am busy with a chore, I tend to answer quickly, sometimes not even looking her way. Stop Mama. Look at that baby. It won't take but a minute.

A really BIG change for me would be putting down the phone. I use my Iphone for EVERYTHING. And my kids know it. They know I can Google info for them on the fly. They know I can play them a song. They know Mama watches HER TV on her phone a lot. They know about Facebook (gasp!) and texting (which they think I do WAY too much).

I'm going to make a commitment to put down the phone. I'm not sure what this will look like but I'm going to do the following things:

1. Delete Facebook
2. Delete Netflix
3. Keep phone in central location when we are home together. (Remember the phone was secured to the wall and if you wanted to use it, you could only use it from that location??)

If I can do these 3 things, I may have a good chance of breaking this addiction of mine. And maybe in doing so, I can show my family what SLOW looks like. That would be the best reward.

World of Distraction

This morning I went for a long run. It was dark and stormy skies so I decided to run the loop at my local park just in case the rains came. There were several people walking and running this morning. Not crowded but busy. As I ran, I people watched. People watching is one of my favorite past times. It is always interesting to look at the people around you. I smile. I say good morning. Some respond in kind, but mostly people are in their own worlds.

We are so connected these days. Everyone has a cellphone. People look more at their phones than they do the people around them. Or even the people WITH them. Addictions to cellphones are commonplace now. Most people check their phones every few minutes, whether it rings or buzzes or not. Social media, Google, and other Apps have people constantly on their phone. I'm not sure if these people are looking for connection or entertainment, but one thing is certain, they are distracted.

I hear the birds singing as I run. I hear some children laughing on the playground. I hear the park staff mowing a field of grass. I hear my feet hitting the pavement. And I watch.

I see the people walking and talking to someone on their phone. I pass them again and again, but they never finish their conversation. Always on their phone. 

I see the people running with ear buds in for music (I can still hear their music because it's so loud). They are lost in their thoughts.

I see one woman who is listening to an audio book. I'm not sure if she is wearing ear buds because I can hear parts of her book each time I pass her. 

I see a man with ear buds listening to music. I think opera of some sort. Definitely not English in language. And he is singing. Loudly. This makes me chuckle.

Distractions. Phones, Ipods, ear buds, etc. Blocking out the world around us. Phone calls, facebook, text messages, music, podcasts. We can't just take a walk anymore. We don't run in nature anymore. Is it the silence? Is it the birds singing? Is it our own thoughts? What are we trying to distract ourselves from?

I am as guilty of this as any one of these people. I listen to music and podcasts when I run sometimes. I reach for my phone during a lull. I pick up my phone sometimes to check it for no reason. I google. I facebook. (When did "facebook" become a verb???)

But some days, I long for the days before cellphones. (Yes, I was younger so that may be part of it. LOL) But I remember a time when I could be alone with my thoughts, with the quiet, with the birds singing - not reaching for a phone - a device - to keep me company. Because I WAS ENOUGH.